The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

Posts tagged ‘year one’

You’re too pretty…

In Australia, we have a van, called ‘Life Education’. It promotes healthy living and educates all children (younger children more subtly) about drug use and its dangers. The younger children engage with a giraffe named Harold. The van is AWESOME and I loved visiting when I was a kid.

The visit can bring up feelings of worry and concern as it discusses smoking and how bad it is for you. Children who have parents who smoke usually want to talk about this after the visit.

A child asked me,

“Have you ever smoked, Miss Rainbow?”

Before I could tell them that no, never have I smoked a cigarette, I was told, 

“No, you’re too pretty to smoke.”

And that was that! 

Shake ya tail feather…

While at our sports carnival on Friday, parents and siblings were cheering on their children in the relay races. One sibling, cheered for their brother in a rather, interesting way…

“Go, Jack, shake ya tail feather!”

On a loud, hot, busy day in an open, large space outside, a roar of laughter erupted!

images-4

The clip

Today, while discussing  siblings and the sizes of families, one child announced, 

“Well my Mother has five children and she delivered them all naturally. Dad had enough once she had me, so she’s got the clip in her belly to stop the babies getting in!”

Good to know, child. Good to know. 

Do these words mean anything to you?

It was only a matter of time until one of my Year One students asked about Robin Williams or said something about it. I just didn’t think it would be…

“Miss Rainbow, do the words, ‘Mork and Mindy’, mean anything to you?”

When I said, yes, the child said, ‘My Mum told me you just wouldn’t understand it’.

May Robin Williams rest in peace.

images

The pressure is on!

While playing a gam of ‘Round the World’ with my class one child became quite anxious. Initially, as the competing children came closer to her, she said she had butterflies. Then, as the child approached her chair to stand behind, she announced, 

“Oh it’s just too much! I need to go and do a nervous wee! I’l be back…’

And off she ran to the bathroom before her competing turn arrived! 

Bush wee

Today, we were on an excursion and the toilets were unsavoury to say the least (I wouldn’t let my dog sniff them…). I had pre-warned the children to try to go to the toilet twice before we left, as well as not to guzzle the water in their water bottle. At the end of our exploring, one child came to me and said, ‘Miss Rainbow, I know the toilets are bad, but that seriously doesn’t even matter to me right now. That’s how much I’m busting.’ I told her I explained that I understood her ‘busting’ feeling (I actually did) but I really would prefer for her to hold it until we got back to school (on a nice, bouncy bus). 

One child had a better suggestion, 

“She could just do a bush wee!”

 

In Australia, that’s the equivalent of taking a squat (for a lady) in a forrest or any sort of nature-like setting. 

Strange questions

Sometimes, kids come out with really strange questions. What makes them strange, is that the question itself is unusual, but the child asking it will often wait a long time in a line full of other children about to ask strange questions, or have their hand up, go red in the face and look like they are about to burst at the seams. You quickly ask them what they would like to say, only to be asked, 

“Miss Rainbow, do you ever feel like you’re not real?”

I actually didn’t have an answer. 

Tag Cloud

meandmyThermie

just an ordinary mum, who aside from a good cappuccino, loves cooking all things healthily and gluten free in her Thermomix