The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

Posts tagged ‘teaching’

I didn’t get a turn!

A child in my class had the sulks today. After I asked what was wrong, I was told, rather explosively,

“I didn’t get a turn on the interrupting whiteboard!”

Umm, righteo, child!

The clip

Today, while discussing  siblings and the sizes of families, one child announced, 

“Well my Mother has five children and she delivered them all naturally. Dad had enough once she had me, so she’s got the clip in her belly to stop the babies getting in!”

Good to know, child. Good to know. 

Do these words mean anything to you?

It was only a matter of time until one of my Year One students asked about Robin Williams or said something about it. I just didn’t think it would be…

“Miss Rainbow, do the words, ‘Mork and Mindy’, mean anything to you?”

When I said, yes, the child said, ‘My Mum told me you just wouldn’t understand it’.

May Robin Williams rest in peace.

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Bush wee

Today, we were on an excursion and the toilets were unsavoury to say the least (I wouldn’t let my dog sniff them…). I had pre-warned the children to try to go to the toilet twice before we left, as well as not to guzzle the water in their water bottle. At the end of our exploring, one child came to me and said, ‘Miss Rainbow, I know the toilets are bad, but that seriously doesn’t even matter to me right now. That’s how much I’m busting.’ I told her I explained that I understood her ‘busting’ feeling (I actually did) but I really would prefer for her to hold it until we got back to school (on a nice, bouncy bus). 

One child had a better suggestion, 

“She could just do a bush wee!”

 

In Australia, that’s the equivalent of taking a squat (for a lady) in a forrest or any sort of nature-like setting. 

Lordy be!

Yesterday afternoon, the clouds darkened as playtime drew to a close (while in the staff room, all the teachers prayed for no rain until the bell went!). The children commented about the huge storm that was coming. I checked online and could report that no warnings for a storm existed and perhaps some showers, but no storm. 

Five minutes later, the loudest, most sudden and angry clap of thunder shook our quiet, hard-working classroom. At the time, I was writing on the whiteboard. The pen kept going on the board as I jumped with fright. Out of nowhere, a child exclaimed, 

“Lordy be, that frightened me! I nearly wet my pants!”

I asked, “Who says that in your family?”

“Nanna, she says it all of the time!”

Poor Nanna. Poor little kid!

That’s real love…

Today we talked about how much we loved our siblings, cousins and family. One child said, ‘It is really hard to love my sister. Somedays I don’t love her at all.’ Aware the discussion had moved to shaky ground, I said, ‘Surely you’ve loved her a little bit on some days…’. The child paused for a moment and said, 

“Yeah, somedays I love her as much as I love a bird.”

That’s real, true, deep love. 

Heart breaking…

This afternoon, as the children said good bye to me (they say, ‘Good afternoon and God Bless you, MRS Rainbow’) I smiled to myself; they still can’t get this MISS thing right. One girl asks, ‘Why are they still calling you MRS Rainbow? You’re not MRS, it’s Miss!’ I said I understood but it’s a tricky thing to get right. The girl then said, ‘You’re not married, yet, though!’ One child then joins in, 

“Yeah, you’re not married because you haven’t met a prince charming. Maybe you’ll never meet him and you’ll be Miss Rainbow forever.”

Gee, thanks, kid. 

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just an ordinary mum, who aside from a good cappuccino, loves cooking all things healthily and gluten free in her Thermomix