The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

Posts tagged ‘school’

Bush wee

Today, we were on an excursion and the toilets were unsavoury to say the least (I wouldn’t let my dog sniff them…). I had pre-warned the children to try to go to the toilet twice before we left, as well as not to guzzle the water in their water bottle. At the end of our exploring, one child came to me and said, ‘Miss Rainbow, I know the toilets are bad, but that seriously doesn’t even matter to me right now. That’s how much I’m busting.’ I told her I explained that I understood her ‘busting’ feeling (I actually did) but I really would prefer for her to hold it until we got back to school (on a nice, bouncy bus). 

One child had a better suggestion, 

“She could just do a bush wee!”


In Australia, that’s the equivalent of taking a squat (for a lady) in a forrest or any sort of nature-like setting. 


Lordy be!

Yesterday afternoon, the clouds darkened as playtime drew to a close (while in the staff room, all the teachers prayed for no rain until the bell went!). The children commented about the huge storm that was coming. I checked online and could report that no warnings for a storm existed and perhaps some showers, but no storm. 

Five minutes later, the loudest, most sudden and angry clap of thunder shook our quiet, hard-working classroom. At the time, I was writing on the whiteboard. The pen kept going on the board as I jumped with fright. Out of nowhere, a child exclaimed, 

“Lordy be, that frightened me! I nearly wet my pants!”

I asked, “Who says that in your family?”

“Nanna, she says it all of the time!”

Poor Nanna. Poor little kid!

That’s real love…

Today we talked about how much we loved our siblings, cousins and family. One child said, ‘It is really hard to love my sister. Somedays I don’t love her at all.’ Aware the discussion had moved to shaky ground, I said, ‘Surely you’ve loved her a little bit on some days…’. The child paused for a moment and said, 

“Yeah, somedays I love her as much as I love a bird.”

That’s real, true, deep love. 

Chivalry at its best

Today, a boy, all of six years of age, held a door open for me. At my school we have ‘First Class Friend’ tickets that are handed out to children who are being ‘First Class Friends’. They can be handed out to children who are being helpful, showing good manners, showing kindness, showing a positive attitude, playing fairly and a few other things. 

I wrote one for the boy who held the door open for me. While I was writing it, he said, 

“You know I didn’t do it because I like you. I did it because my Dad said you should always do that for ladies.”

At least he called me a lady… 

For the love of…

Today, we had a drill for a fire evacuation and a lockdown. A lockdown is when we stay indoors and under desks due to a threat outside. This was the first time I had done the drill with my class. We had a big talk about it being a practice and not to worry about a thing. I explained the expectations and rules for a lockdown too. Once the children were nestled under their desks, I hear,

“Is this a real lockdown?”

I answered, ‘No, remember it’s just pretend.’ A few seconds later, 

“Is a practice?”

Again, I reminded them, “Yes, it’s just a practice, it’s not real and there’s nothing to worry about.” I then heard from under a desk somewhere, 

“Is this a proper lockdown?”

Before I could answer, I heard, very loudly,  


I still don’t know who yelled it because I was also in my lockdown area, sitting on the floor under the windows of the classroom doors. I did giggle in a serious situation, though! 

A change of style, perhaps?

On our sports day last year, I wore some Lorna Jane 3/4 pants and a pink collared shirt. Naturally, I also had my Nikes on with hot pink socks to match the shirt (why not?). 

Normally, at work, I’m the A-Line dress, dressy pants and top, matching accessories teacher. I should also add that I have quite a collection of flats that I rotate on a regular basis (worked in a shoe shop before I graduated university!). 

As the children excitedly arrived in the morning for their sports day, I was met with confused stares. I had NEVER dressed like that. I was quite busy that morning (too busy to find out why they were all looking at me strangely). I asked them all to go to the toilet. As two girls walked out together, one said to the other, 

“I didn’t know she was a tennis coach as well…”

Yep, I do it all. 

Who likes bad boys?

Kids tell you things their parents say. Sometimes they probably shouldn’t even hear their parents speak.

One little girl told me why her parents got married.

“Mummy said Daddy is a bad boy. That’s why she fell for him.”


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