The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

Posts tagged ‘religion’

Give us porridge

Today, the children were writing prayers that relate to Pentecost. One of the lines was, ‘Give us courage.’ One child misheard me, and loudly asked, 

“Give us porridge?”

Ah the laughter… 


Kid- 1 Miss Rainbow-0

We talk about Jesus a lot. We talk about him being a kind, gentle, forgiving and generous person. We talk about how Jesus didn’t just talk about these things, but he did them too (he walked the talk). 

I then discussed how we feel when people are not being kind, or how we feel when we are not being kind. The children quickly told me that Jesus would forgive me and show me how to be kind. One child said, ‘When people are being mean everything looks grey and gloomy. It’s not happy and colourful.’ (BINGO! Thank you child!). 

I then asked if perhaps they thought Jesus was like a light for people to follow and act like. One child looked very confused and reminded me, 

“But Miss Rainbow, there was no electricity when Jesus was live. How was he a light?”

The rest of the class then also chimed in, reminding me that there were no iPads, computers, phones or fridges. They completely disagreed that Jesus was a light for others to follow.


Miss Rainbow- 0

The burial of Jesus

As we talk about The Easter Story at school, the children have lots of ‘interesting’ questions. 

One that gave me a little giggle was, 

“Miss Rainbow, why didn’t they put Jesus in a cotton? It’s very mean to put him in a hole and not in a cotton.”

Lucky he didn’t stay in ‘the hole’ for too long, I guess!

And the understanding blooms!

While learning about Jesus today, we talked about Jesus being a person, just like you and me. I read a few stories to the children and explained that even though when he was an adult he had a few ‘special’ things about him, when he was a child, he was just like the children I teach.

We listened to a song about Jesus, which explained where Jesus grew up (Galilee). When asking the children, ‘Where did Jesus grow up?’ One child, brightly and excitedly shot up his hand and said,

“He grew up in Calla Lily! The flowers I grow in the garden must be from that place where Jesus grew up!”

Too cute!

Wait, have I got that right?

While talking about the Creation Story and Adam and Eve, the girls in my class were extremely upset to find out that Adam was created first. The boys I taught, obviously felt quite proud and very happy with God’s choice to make ‘man’ first. The girls were done with religion and God. They didn’t want to hear it. One girl told me to close the bible because boys would probably always get everything first in the rest of the story (I had taught her something, looking for a pattern, inferential comprehension). 

I was trying to meet one of my qualities that I listed in the ‘personal qualities’ section on my resume, and think quickly on my feet. Before I could say anything, a girl said ‘Yeah, well the boy might have come first, but the girl gets to carry the babies. We needed the man to come first so he could give us the sperms!’ 

Again, trying to think quickly on my feet, and come up with something to come out of my mouth, and the girl looked at me and said, ‘Wait, have I got that right?’ I just said, ‘Yes, sweetheart.’ Then it was on to maths, much less controversial.

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