The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

Posts tagged ‘innocence’

Hotel High Life

I recently told the children I live in an apartment building. I didn’t mean to tell them, but I mentioned having to take a lift where I live and the children asked a few questions. 

A few days later, one of the children said,

“Miss Rainbow, Mummy and Daddy are staying at your home tonight. They are staying at the Hilton in Brisbane!’

I clarified that I didn’t live at the Hilton… However, it didn’t get me too far. A few days after this, I talked about carrying so many heavy groceries from my car, to the lift, then to my kitchen. I then got advice from a child.

“Miss Rainbow, just get the bellman to take it to your room. Isn’t that why you live in the Hilton and not a normal house?’

I give in. I live in the Hilton. 

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A crap load of generosity

A student I teach lives on a farm and brought me in eggs today. After having a week off while camping, he returned today, ready to be back in the swing of things. He was trying to balance everything as he came in, including half a dozen eggs from his farm. I was so excited to see him, I crouched down, and said to him, “Are these for me?”. He leant in, gave me a cuddle and said, 

“Yes, Miss Rainbow. I collected them myself. Then I washed all of the poo off them for you.”

So generous and kind. 

The eggs are in the oven now, as part of an orange and almond cake for lunches, minus the poo.

Doctor Flo’

I was dealing with stomach pains (that time of the month; that’s right, it doesn’t even stop for a Year One teacher!) and one particular pain caught me off guard and I put my hand on my lower stomach. One child says to me,

“Oh Mrs Rainbow, I think you better go and sit on the toilet. Your tummy probably has some runny poos in there.”

Obviously, I did not need to go into what was really going on, so I said, “Oh, thank you sweetie.” By the end of the day, my whole class was talking about my ‘runny poos’. What a treat.

Special water

A girl I teach and her older sister were telling me how strong their Dad is. He is so strong, he can carry their Mum up the stairs! When the two girls told me this, the look on my face obviously prompted clarification from them. I didn’t expect to hear,

“Yeah, when Mummy drinks too much special water, she can’t walk up the stairs, so Daddy carries Mummy up stairs.”

 I’d really like a glass of this ‘special water’, or maybe two!

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Luck o’ the Irish

We have been doing lots of work this week, and some of it included learning about St Patrick. I stumbled across a Youtube video of a Leprechaun counting. In the video, he Leprechaun says he is ‘1001’ years old. A little girl I teach, who is very small with large, blue, marbled eyes asks with wonder, 

“Miss Rainbow, do Leprechauns live forever?”

It was like she was asking if Santa is real (of course he is!). I said, ‘Yes sweetheart, they do live forever.’ 

We made pots of gold and rainbows (find them on my Pinterest board for Religious Celebrations). The same little girl told everyone to, 

“Make sure you put plenty of glitter on the pots of gold to keep them living forever.”

With any luck, she’s kept the magic going.

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Wait, have I got that right?

While talking about the Creation Story and Adam and Eve, the girls in my class were extremely upset to find out that Adam was created first. The boys I taught, obviously felt quite proud and very happy with God’s choice to make ‘man’ first. The girls were done with religion and God. They didn’t want to hear it. One girl told me to close the bible because boys would probably always get everything first in the rest of the story (I had taught her something, looking for a pattern, inferential comprehension). 

I was trying to meet one of my qualities that I listed in the ‘personal qualities’ section on my resume, and think quickly on my feet. Before I could say anything, a girl said ‘Yeah, well the boy might have come first, but the girl gets to carry the babies. We needed the man to come first so he could give us the sperms!’ 

Again, trying to think quickly on my feet, and come up with something to come out of my mouth, and the girl looked at me and said, ‘Wait, have I got that right?’ I just said, ‘Yes, sweetheart.’ Then it was on to maths, much less controversial.

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just an ordinary mum, who aside from a good cappuccino, loves cooking all things healthily and gluten free in her Thermomix