The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

An… infection…

While talking to the children about the various coughs, colds and sniffles going around, one child reminded me (for the twentieth time) that they have a chest infection and they have medicine for it. One child asks, 

“Do you take the same medicine for your chest infection as I take for my pagina infection?”

Yes there were parents in the room. 

Yes we have a high profile visitor coming to see our class tomorrow. 

Yes that child will be gagged, bound and locked in a cupboard! 

Seriously, though, I love their innocence in that there are no secrets or private information. Such a lovely world they life in. 

While walking to assembly today, I heard a loud, ‘thump’. I knew immediately a child’s head had hit something. It had hit the concrete floor we were walking on to assembly. Initially, I expected to see a child on the floor who is ALWAYS falling over. Not this time, it was another child. Once the injured child was dealt with and was iced up and assessed by the school nurse, I hear my accident prone child say, 

“Luckily he hit the part of his brain that isn’t smart and won’t help him get smarter.”

I know it’s not even worth trying to explain how wrong the child was! 

The what of arms?

We are learning about money at school at the moment. We had a look at the Australian Fifty Cent Piece. The class talked about what is pictured on it (a kangaroo and emu). I said it had a special name and one child shot their hand up to tell me what that special name is…

“A coca cola of arms!”

Well, it’s a Coat of Arms, but we were close! 

Oh my God!!

I’m on school holidays at the moment and I became a babysitter for my two cousins during the week. One is in Grade One (First Grade, Year One, whatever) and the other is in Year Six. I teach Year One also. 

While driving to the park, with our little dog (gorgeous thing, Daschund X Jack Russle- think cute and mischief all in one). 

During the ride, Leo, the dog, propped himself up and rested his paws on the back of my front passenger seat to get a good view. I am all about safety in cars and very quickly exclaimed, 

“Excuse me, that is definitely not safe. You can sit on your bottom now thank you!”

My cousin slaps herself on the forehead and says, 

“Oh, MY, GOD. You really are a teacher, you have the best teacher voice ever!”

I pulled a Miss Rainbow on the dog. Go me. Happy holidays, teachers!

Bush wee

Today, we were on an excursion and the toilets were unsavoury to say the least (I wouldn’t let my dog sniff them…). I had pre-warned the children to try to go to the toilet twice before we left, as well as not to guzzle the water in their water bottle. At the end of our exploring, one child came to me and said, ‘Miss Rainbow, I know the toilets are bad, but that seriously doesn’t even matter to me right now. That’s how much I’m busting.’ I told her I explained that I understood her ‘busting’ feeling (I actually did) but I really would prefer for her to hold it until we got back to school (on a nice, bouncy bus). 

One child had a better suggestion, 

“She could just do a bush wee!”

 

In Australia, that’s the equivalent of taking a squat (for a lady) in a forrest or any sort of nature-like setting. 

Lordy be!

Yesterday afternoon, the clouds darkened as playtime drew to a close (while in the staff room, all the teachers prayed for no rain until the bell went!). The children commented about the huge storm that was coming. I checked online and could report that no warnings for a storm existed and perhaps some showers, but no storm. 

Five minutes later, the loudest, most sudden and angry clap of thunder shook our quiet, hard-working classroom. At the time, I was writing on the whiteboard. The pen kept going on the board as I jumped with fright. Out of nowhere, a child exclaimed, 

“Lordy be, that frightened me! I nearly wet my pants!”

I asked, “Who says that in your family?”

“Nanna, she says it all of the time!”

Poor Nanna. Poor little kid!

That’s real love…

Today we talked about how much we loved our siblings, cousins and family. One child said, ‘It is really hard to love my sister. Somedays I don’t love her at all.’ Aware the discussion had moved to shaky ground, I said, ‘Surely you’ve loved her a little bit on some days…’. The child paused for a moment and said, 

“Yeah, somedays I love her as much as I love a bird.”

That’s real, true, deep love. 

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meandmyThermie

just an ordinary mum, who aside from a good cappuccino, loves cooking all things healthily and gluten free in her Thermomix