The hilarious things the children I teach have said.

Archive for May, 2014

Chivalry at its best

Today, a boy, all of six years of age, held a door open for me. At my school we have ‘First Class Friend’ tickets that are handed out to children who are being ‘First Class Friends’. They can be handed out to children who are being helpful, showing good manners, showing kindness, showing a positive attitude, playing fairly and a few other things. 

I wrote one for the boy who held the door open for me. While I was writing it, he said, 

“You know I didn’t do it because I like you. I did it because my Dad said you should always do that for ladies.”

At least he called me a lady… 


Strange questions

Sometimes, kids come out with really strange questions. What makes them strange, is that the question itself is unusual, but the child asking it will often wait a long time in a line full of other children about to ask strange questions, or have their hand up, go red in the face and look like they are about to burst at the seams. You quickly ask them what they would like to say, only to be asked, 

“Miss Rainbow, do you ever feel like you’re not real?”

I actually didn’t have an answer. 

This one was my mistake…

While handing out work the children had displayed in the classroom, I became a little frustrated that children are still NOT writing their names on their work. To find out who owns what, I’ve usually got to read some of their writing, or have them look at their work to identify it. 

The particular sheet I was handing back to the children was entitled ‘If I had a fairy godmother, I would…’. Most of the children wished for more wishes, to be rich, to meet famous cricketers or to own the Gold Coast Suns. One child, however, has a very sweet tooth and wished for a train made of chocolate. To find out who might own this particular sheet, I yell out (without putting much thought into it at all…)

“Who wants a train made of chocolate?”

I’ve never got their attention so quick in my life! 



Give us porridge

Today, the children were writing prayers that relate to Pentecost. One of the lines was, ‘Give us courage.’ One child misheard me, and loudly asked, 

“Give us porridge?”

Ah the laughter… 


Today, one of my children threw another child’s track pants in the bin. I took her into the other child’s class to apologise. When we arrived in the other classroom I briefly explained to the teacher what had happened. She said to her student, ‘Surely this lovely girl wouldn’t do a thing like that! She is a nice girl, isn’t she?’ He replied, 


His teacher, quite confused, replied, ‘Pardon me?’ He then said, 

“Nup, she’s not a nice person, she was awful in prep and she DID throw my track pants into the bin!”

Can always trust kids to speak their mind, no matter what!

Wouldn’t be without them, would you?

Today, we talked about making a ‘Wanted’ poster for the Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. We talked about what sort of information we could put on the poster. One child suggested that we should tell people what to do if they see the Big Bad Wolf. I suggested that perhaps a phone number would be important. One child shot her hand in the air, and exclaimed, 

“RACQ, Mum said she wouldn’t be without them!”

To understand, if you are not in Australia, watch this link RACQ basically provides roadside assistance, changes tyres and gives you new batteries if you are in a spot of bother. About ten years ago they had a jingle (which is now their slogan) which sung, ‘Wouldn’t be without them, would you?’ 

This child has been taught well. 

A name change…

The Voice is on in Australia at the moment. Some of the children in my class are OBSESSED. One boy came to me and said, 

“I am changing my middle name to!”

Now that’s a true fan!

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